#109 - The Universe Doesn't Need Your Advice
UGLY BUSINESS PODCAST EPISODE 109
Before I start, I just want to say that I don't know if this episode is for you or for someone you know, if it resonates with you that is awesome! If you know someone else who you think it could really help, someone else who needs to hear this message then I want you to invite them to listen to it, subscribe and share. You can do that using the link on the player!
As many of you know, my goal is to help as many people as I can, help as many people as they can. And we do that through our coaching business. So maybe we can all work together to kind of get the word out there. So if you know someone who could use this message, please share it with them.
All right, so check it out. The other day I was doing some things for my mother and as many of you guys know, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while or following any of my content, you know that my mother is an Irish woman of a certain age and she's very independent and she's just getting to the point where she has some trouble doing some things physically. She's beaten cancer twice. Thank God. She's had shoulder replacement surgeries, knee replacement surgeries a few times and it all accumulates, and some days you just struggles. So I was in her apartment, we built an apartment for her right adjacent to my home so we can kind of keep an eye on her and help her. But yet still give her that independence.
But I was down in her apartment and I was helping her put sheets on her bed and at one point as she's trying to help and we're trying to do this thing together. And at one point I just looked at her and I said, "You know what? I got this. Don't worry, I can get it." Because after some point, after some time there just comes a point in time where it's just faster if you kind of do it yourself. And if you're like me and you've ever been a parent of a toddler who kind of loves to help, you know what I mean? I remember when I was a little kid and my mom would be doing some things around the house and I'd be trying to help her, try to be that good little helper. And sometimes she would just say, "You know what? How you can help me? You can help me by just sitting over there. Right." Sometimes, you just need folks to get out of the way so you can get your thing done.
And it's funny, I look back and if you have a kid you can relate, you see yourself turning into your parents sometimes. And it's funny how I remember when my boys, I have two teenagers. But I remember when they were young, like toddlers and I used to say the same thing to them when they wanted to kind of help out. And sometimes we just have to get out of the way. When we're young we don't really realize how just having some room can be all that is needed at a given point in time. And as an adult, I don't know about you, but as an adult I still need room to think and to energize. And a lot of people may not know this, but I'm an introvert. I'm out here and I'm doing a lot of things like this podcast and I'm in front of people all the time. I do keynotes from time to time. I teach classes and all that stuff.
But at the end of the day, I'm an introvert. I need room to regain my energy as an adult. And that's just where my energy comes from. Some people are energized by being around a ton of other people and bouncing ideas off each other and brainstorming and all that. And I do love that. It's a ton of value, but I'm just wired in a way that after doing that, I really need to be by myself so I can get that energy back. So those of you who are introverts, you know it's not about shyness, it's more of an energy thing. And so I just need some space to operate. And if that resonates with you, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
But as business owners and as entrepreneurs, I think that sometimes we lose track of the idea that we can still be in the way. And that's what I want to talk about today. But before I do, I give this disclaimer all the time and I'm going to do it again today. The things that I talk about here, it's kind of like a buffet. Take what value you get from it and then leave the rest behind if you'd like. But lean in because there's something of value here for you. What I'm about to say, if you lean into it and you kind of enter in the consideration of what I'm talking about, it can be game changing for you. No matter how successful of a coach you are or an entrepreneur that you are, at some point along the way things got pretty ugly, things got ugly. That's why the name of this podcast is Ugly Business after all. Building a business isn't always pretty.
And along the way things get pretty ugly. And it happened to me and I know it was the case with you and other people who start a business are going to go through the same things. And looking back, I can see now why much of the struggle that I had could have been avoided. And there's some of you who are going to listen to what I'm about to say and you're going to turn off. And when I say you're going to turn off, I mean you're literally going to turn off in the exact context that I'm talking about today. So I want to urge you to just stick with me here. Stick with me, hear what I'm about to say and lean into the consideration and the spirit of what I'm telling you. It could change a bunch of things in your world and the way I see it is that we kind of carry stuff around. Like we all do, we have baggage, and sometimes we let go of it and sometimes we strap it to our back and we hike through our lives with it.
And the purpose of this discussion isn't really about letting go of that baggage, although you should. Today's discussion isn't really about forgiving yourself or your prior mistakes, although you should. And it's not about how your world is going to change if you quit focusing on yesterday and start looking at today. Although it will. I'm not talking about what to do with old baggage. But what I want to remind you of, I want to remind you to stop picking up more baggage. I don't want you to pick up any more. And as you guys know, I'm an energy guy. I believe in some very basic universal laws and listen.
So when I say universal, when I use the word universal or universal laws, I say it in that way because I want you to hear what I'm saying without preconception. You may think of universal or the universal source as God or the source or energy or whatever. And so I use the term, universal because you can take it however you want it. It doesn't change the principle. It doesn't change the concept of what I'm going to talk about or what I talk about a lot when it comes to mindset things.
But one thing that can all agree on is that everything is made of energy. I mean, we learned that back in science class. All energy is in motion. And all energy that's in motion will eventually appear in the physical form. All energy has to express itself. And so we already know from other universal laws that thoughts are also energy. Now for the skeptics, if you don't believe me, that thoughts are energy, close your eyes and think about me chomping into a lemon. Or think about something really, really, really sad or think about fingernails like sliding down a chalkboard and what happens? That manifests itself in a physical reaction. So it's energy. And so, okay Kevin, well, what does that mean? Where are you going today?
Well, it means that our thoughts because they're energy are eventually going to appear in the physical form. Now stick with me here. I could go into super, super, super detail in this. We could go really deep in this, but for today, I want this to be accessible. I want you to digest this and I don't want to get bogged down in the semantics. So just stick with me. Now for those of you who have read the book The Secret, the book on the law of attraction. If you read the book The Secret, you can begin to see kind of where I'm going here. But I want to be careful. As much as I enjoyed reading that book, it can be misleading. If you don't lean into the intention of the book, it can be misleading and it can be really dangerous.
And listen, by the word dangerous, I don't mean like you're going to be in danger if you read it, but dangerous in that you can kind of lose the point. You can lose the point, you can fall into this vortex of disbelief and you can miss out on the most significant laws of success. And not just in business, but in life. On the surface it seems like the message that they're getting across in that book is that if you simply think of something, you'll get it. And there's a lot of folks out there that are kind of pushing this message without really providing the context. And in The Secret, if you don't really lean into it, you can walk away believing that if you just think about something, you'll get it. And so the naysayers and the doubters and the cynics, they jump in and they say just how ridiculous that notion is. And they'd be right.
It is ridiculous. It is ridiculous to say that just by thinking of something, you will get it. The point of the secret is that the energy that is most dominant in our world will eventually show itself in the physical form, the thoughts that are most dominant. And there's a big difference there. So if you think about something for a quick minute and then spend an hour thinking about how your life sucks and that there's just not enough resources to go around. And you dive back into the world of scarcity, of course things aren't going to go your way. It just doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that. We're talking about the dominant energy. It's about receiving an idea, applying energy to that idea through thought. And allowing that to be the dominant thought and giving energy to that thought. And getting more energy through action and seeing that energy express itself in the physical form in your life.
Now, a lot of people call that whole process manifestation. A lot of people get turned off by the word manifestation. Again, I don't want to get into the semantics and again, we could dig deep. But even the skeptic will agree that if we have an idea enough, if we give an idea enough thought and we allow that thought to become dominant in our lives, eventually it's going to change our behavior and produce a related outcome or result, either good or bad. We all know somebody in our lives who just is dominated by negative thoughts. And because they're dominated by negative thoughts, they exude negativity. They exude negative energy and they get negative things in their world.
But if we give an idea enough thought, eventually it's going to change our behavior and produce a related outcome or result. This flow of idea, from idea to thought to reality. It's natural. It happens by law. And this is why people who haven't jumped on board with this, they observe something and they automatically think to the contrary, it only happens if we don't do things to stop it.
This is another thing about The Secret and the law of attraction I think people miss and it's important that we understand. This isn't some magical like thing. I think that's where it gets misinterpreted a lot. So you have to be a willing participant, you have to do the thing. Those of you who have listened to my content for long enough know that I often refer back to Ralph Waldo Emerson when he says, "Do the thing and have the power, but those who do the thing not will not have the power." You have to do the thing. You have to do stuff. but you can't do stuff to stop the natural flow. See this energy, this pathway is how things are supposed to be. You had the idea to start your business for a reason. That idea just didn't come. It just didn't magically appear. Nothing just happens. We live in a world of cause and effect. You had the idea to start a business because at that particular moment in time, that idea was directly in line with what you were ready for, what you were ready to receive.
Think about it.
Where was that idea before you had it? It existed somewhere. Where was it? The idea, the components, the methods, the resources for starting a business have always been there. People have been starting businesses for centuries, but you had it at that specific time. Like think about like the Wright Brothers. Think about when they had the idea to make flight possible. At that moment in time, they didn't create the laws of physics that enable people to fly. Those laws of physics have always been around since the beginning of time. That's why they call them the laws of physics and it's been around since the beginning of time. All the resources that they needed were already there. They already existed. They just needed to be ready to see it, ready to receive it, and then they allowed that thought of taking flight to dominate their mindset, to dominate their thoughts. And believe me, everybody was against them. Everybody said they couldn't do it, but they allowed the thought of being able to do it to dominate their thoughts. And the rest was just natural.
So here's the thing and this is what I want to get at today. The universe, it doesn't need your advice. It doesn't need your advice. But that's exactly what we try to do. That's what we tried to do, isn't it? We try to tell the universe that it's wrong, that it chose the wrong person at the wrong time, to do the wrong thing. And so we second guess it and we kill the energy. One of my mentors by the name of Paul Martinelli referred to this as kinking the hose. You have a hose outside, it's hooked up to the spigot, you turn it on and if you want it to stop, you just kind of bend the hose, you kink the hose and no more water flows through it.
Here's this naturally flowing energy from idea to thought, to image, to action, to reality. That's game changing. If we can just hold on to and let it flow like water through the hose, if we just let it and work with it and participate with it. But we kink the hose, we kink the hose. How do we do it? Well, we tell ourselves that we know and I laugh. I laugh only because looking back on it and when you hear it like this, it just seems so ridiculous. Some of the things that we do. We tell ourselves that we know better. We tell ourselves that we can't do sales. We can't do social media. We can't do the online thing. It's not the right time. I don't have the resources. Maybe after I do that other thing halfway, maybe I'll come back to this. After I read the book, after I take the course.
And we start to correct the universe or the source or this energy or God or wherever your perspective lies. We try to correct it. We try to give advice to the very thing that has provided everything that you see around you. We start getting in the way, and instead of being an active participant, we become an active barrier. Think about it this way. Is there anything more annoying than someone who doesn't know anything about you, or your kind of business, or what you're doing, or the state that you may be in, in your life that doesn't know anything about any of those things giving you unsolicited advice? I mean, ugh. But that's what you're doing. You're giving advice to the universe and this law's kind of like impersonal.
In other words, it doesn't matter who you are or what you think or what you do. It's kind of like gravity. The law of gravity is there, whether or not you believe in gravity or not. It'd be like trying to convince the universe that gravity doesn't exist. The university doesn't need our advice. It gives the advice. That is not for you to carry. It's not your burden to fight. You already have the resources, they're delivered right to you right now. Right now you have the resources to take the very next step to do the thing. Whatever that thing is for you, you have the resources right now. It's been given to you. The energy is flowing and it's waiting for you. Don't try to stuff more things in that baggage, that baggage of "reason." Set those down.
I remember before I first started in business, I could feel it coming, like I knew it was coming. I knew at some level it had to happen, but I fought it off. The economy's no good. I'm not well known enough. I've got two young kids. It's not really the time. Everybody's always listening to someone else, like listen to that reason. How ridiculous is that? I thought, and this is true, and I'm not embarrassed to say it because there's probably people who will hear this, that are probably saying the same things to themselves. Like I literally thought that everyone is already listening to someone else. There's no room for me. Everyone's already got a go to person that they're listening to. No one's going to listen to what I have to say. Everyone's listening to someone else. Like what?
But the writing was on the wall and I felt that I needed to grow and I knew I had a lot to offer and I just thought about it every day until it dominated my thought process. And eventually I built my first six figure business in the worst recession since The Great Depression in the 1920s. It started to happen when I stopped trying to tell the universe how to do its job. More importantly, when I stopped trying to do the universe's job, that's when things got easier. Now, don't get me wrong, I struggled. I struggled a bunch like everybody does. If you're a new entrepreneur, it's not going to be as easy as just thinking about success and being successful. You're going to have ups and downs, you're going to have struggles. That's a given. That's just a ticket to play in the game.
But looking back on it, if I look at all the times where I struggled and if I was to be totally 100% honest with them, honest with myself and honest with you because I'm being totally transparent here. When I look back at the times that I struggled, 99% of the time it was when I kinked my hose, when I knew what I should do, I felt what I should do. But I let the self-limiting baggage that I was carrying around hold me back. It was kind of like I was like rolling this cart around in case a universe tried to direct me in a certain way, I could always say, but look at this. Look at what I got right and I could hold up all this stuff.
Now if you want to carry bag or baggage around, that's fine, but just keep it out of the way. The universe doesn't need that as a reminder. The universe doesn't need it. It didn't need it for me. It didn't need my advice. It didn't need my direction. It gives a direction. It gives advice, it shows the way. It shows a way through intuition. But intuition whispers, and so you have to listen to it. And once you hear it, once you know what you need to do, you have to let that dominate your thoughts. And you have to be an active participant. And so that's the takeaway. Understand that, that idea that you're receiving is energy and it's waiting to be expressed through you. You have to be a willing participant. You have to allow it to dominate your thoughts eventually, because all energy does, it will show up in your life in a physical, tangible way.
Okay, so listen, before I sign off here, my challenge for all of you, as you continue to grow your business, I just simply want you to ask yourself, what is it that you know, right now, that you're being directed to do? You know it's there. If you listen and you're honest with yourself, you know what it is, what is it that you're being directed to do? And ask yourself if you're being an active participant or if you're giving advice back to the source of all advice. Are you kinking the hose? And if you are, I want you to let it go, and I want you to take a step. Not everything, but you definitely have the resources to take a step, to do the thing, okay? Do the thing.
And again, somebody needed to hear this today, and hopefully it was you. I'd love to hear a comment if it was you, I'd love for you to go to the Grow Your Coaching Business Facebook Page and let me know that you heard it. If you're a member of my Facebook group, The Coaches Round Table, I'd love it if you'd jump in and say you heard it. But if it's for someone else, if you know someone who could benefit from this message, share it with them. Share it with them. Okay? All right, everybody have a great week. Remember do the thing. Take care everyone.